


Let Him Dream

by Avistella



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Bittersweet, Dreams, Family, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-12 15:38:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16875546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avistella/pseuds/Avistella
Summary: Young Saeran has a dream of a pleasant family.





	Let Him Dream

**Author's Note:**

> My full piece for the [Saeran Zine](http://saeranzine.tumblr.com/).

It’s only in the dead of night that the Choi twins can properly feel like they’re _alive_ . The night is _their_ time. It is only when the city has gone to sleep that the young children are able to _breathe_ , a momentary reprieve from the hardships of the waking day with the person they call their mother.

The bedroom is dark, and the air is stifling, but the twins tolerate it since they still have each other. Their room acts as both a haven and a prison, separated from their cruel reality.

But despite everything, the Choi twins find a sense of comfort when nestled together underneath their thin blanket. It’s a simplistic fort of sorts, nothing more than a mere cloth draped over their small figures, but to the two young boys, it becomes their own world. In that small world, nobody can disturb them. In there, there only exists small flecks of happiness that Saeran can store away in his memories to drown out his sorrow.

Both Saeyoung and Saeran lie flat on their stomachs on the bed that’s far too hard to be called anything _close_ to comfortable. In front of them is a children’s storybook, something lent from the kind man named V during one of the twins’ small escapades. It’s relieving to Saeran that in his small and childish world that there exists an adult that cares for him.

Saeran listens with rapt attention at the words that Saeyoung reads for him, the pages barely illuminated by the flashlight in his small hand. The flashlight can’t even _compare_ to the absolute brilliance in the children’s eyes as they’re pulled further into the story; however, compared to his brother, Saeran’s eyes shine brighter and appear more awestruck. Unlike Saeyoung, Saeran leans more towards being a dreamer. He knows and understands that he can’t find the courage and lacks the proper strength to act unlike his brother who does so much for him, and so, the boy remains stuck in his childlike imaginations and dreams.

Once the drowsiness starts to kick in, the pair decide to put away the book for now and go to sleep. They make themselves as comfortable as they can, finding solace in their twin’s constant presence beside them.

Saeran’s eyes flicker over to the window that’s too small to provide a view of the _real_ sky he loves so much, and a tiny sigh leaves his lips. He shifts around on the bed, his mind still occupied by the story they just read.

It was a simple enough story about a happy family. There was nothing outstanding about it as the story merely went through the everyday happenings of a quaint family, but even so, it made Saeran’s chest feel all warm and fuzzy, heart swelling with a melancholic feeling. It was better than any action or fantasy storybook in his opinion, but it also made him very sad somehow.

“Do you think we’ll ever be like that?” Saeran whispers, breaking the silence that stretched over the two.

“Like what?”

The corners of Saeran’s lips pull into a small smile as he clarifies, “With our own family. Do you think we’ll be able to grow up and find somebody to love and stuff?”

Beside him, Saeran can feel Saeyoung give a very determined nod of his head. “Yeah! I’m sure we will! And I’m sure we’ll be very happy then.”

The younger twin makes a thoughtful sounding hum before pausing. After a moment, he asks another question, his voice wavering, “Do you think we’ll be together even after all that?”

“Of course!” Saeyoung answers without a hint of hesitation that it surprises the other boy. “Even when we have our own families, we’ll still always be brothers.”

Saeran’s chest tightens with those words, his heart thrumming with joy and relief. The conversation trails off, and there’s nothing more that needs to be said. In the peaceful silence, Saeran allows his eyes to fall shut and let himself become enveloped in his dreams where everything is exactly how he wants his life to be like.

Warmth falls upon Saeran’s closed eyelids, and he slowly flutters them open. He’s greeted by the sight of an unfamiliar room, but he doesn’t feel apprehensive being caught in such a foreign place. The atmosphere as a whole is cozy, the walls having a warm colour that makes his heart feel calm. There are large windows as well, sunlight seeping through and illuminating what Saeran now realizes must be a living room.

There are various potted plants and flowers lying around, giving the room a burst of beautiful colours that makes his childlike eyes shine with amazement. Curious, he walks up towards one of them and closely inspects the plant, smiling to himself.

The young boy is broken out of his thoughts when he hears footsteps approaching the doorway. His head whips around as he instinctively takes a step back, afraid of being punished for intruding on somebody’s home, even if he isn’t sure how he got there in the first place.

To his surprise, however, he comes across a face he’s seen many times before, but much more defined and mature while framed by signature red hair. For some reason, the young Saeran thinks to himself, “ _Oh, this is me…._ ” and realizes that he must be dreaming.

It feels surreal, to say the least. It doesn’t look like his older self can see him, so Saeran tentatively takes a couple of steps closer to watch the young man as he goes around the room, watering each and every single one of the plants with lots of love and care. There’s a smile gracing his lips as he goes through these actions, and it makes the young boy smile too, finding it to be quite infectious.

“ _Saeran_.”

A new voice comes from behind, soft and serene, and the boy turns around to face the stranger. But it’s no stranger to his dream-self as he walks up to the newcomer with an unfamiliar but warm look on his features as he kisses her cheek.

“ _She’s pretty…_ ” the young boy thinks idly to himself as he watches the scene unfold before him.

The woman giggles at the action, her hand moving up to caress his older self’s cheek, and Saeran notices the simple ring resting comfortably on her finger. It’s a bit strange to see such a loving couple. Saeran has never met his father, so he isn’t sure if what he’s dreaming of is an accurate portrayal of how real couples act like, but he supposes it doesn’t matter since this is all just a dream anyways.

The young boy reaches up to touch his own cheek, his head tilting curiously to the side. It looked like such a gentle caress, and it makes the child wonder how it must feel like to be touched like that. All he knows is the feeling of his mother hitting him, and it makes his heart ache.

Before the unpleasant feeling can fully sink into the pit of his stomach, the dream couple head towards what looks like a kitchen, and Saeran follows close behind with a bounce in his steps.

He watches the older Saeran move around the kitchen with his partner, retrieving ingredients and utensils to probably make breakfast. The pair move with ease and grace, talking and laughing while occasionally giving each other quick kisses on the cheeks and lips that makes Saeran blush red, but there’s no denying the grin on his face.

The kitchen is filled with pleasant sounds and the wonderful smell of a good and wholesome breakfast. The atmosphere is so warm and happy, it tugs at Saeran’s heart. For a moment, he remembers his waking life in which he isn’t allowed in the kitchen, and it’s such a sharp contrast to his beautiful dream that it stuns him momentarily.

There is a prickling sensation in the corner of his eyes, and Saeran’s throat clamps up. His lip quivers and vision blurs before the familiar sensation of tears run down his cheeks. It isn’t the first time the child has cried, and he doubts it will be his last, but something about these tears are different. It isn’t that he’s hurt—no, he _is_ hurt, but this scene that’s playing out right in front of his eyes also makes him feel good. It’s a confusing mess of pain and joy, and Saeran no longer knows how he feels or how he’s supposed to feel.

New exclaiming voices break Saeran out of his thoughts, and he wipes at his eyes with the back of his hand. Standing at the doorway are a young boy and girl, looking to be similar in age. They both have the same hair as Saeran and the same eyes as the woman’s. There’s a tender moment between the children and the two adults before they move over to sit at the table, and Saeran joins them before he can recognize that what he’s feeling right now is loneliness.

Before the young boy’s eyes, there’s a table full of warm and freshly made food, made with an incredible amount of love and care for the two children. The atmosphere is exactly how he envisions an ideal family is like, and there’s nothing but smiles shared all around. There’s no yelling or arguing or anything that he usually sees in his everyday life with his own broken family.

It’s a bittersweet dream, giving the younger twin a taste of what he could have had if he was born under better circumstances, as well as a taste of what could possibly be in the future as long as he doesn’t lose sight of himself. But the scenes before him also act as a painful reminder of what he doesn’t have and might possibly never have either, depending on how his situation will play out in the future.

But this is the best that Saeran can have right now, and no one can take that away from him in this world that his pure and innocent heart has made for him. Not his mother, not his father, and not even his own weak self who can only constantly chase after his older brother.

As such, the young boy basks himself in this welcoming and wonderful scene, his heart throbbing against his ribcage as he looks at the bright and cheerful faces of his older self and the family he’s grown to have.

There is an open window nearby, and it brings in a cool and refreshing breeze along with a pleasant floral scent from outside. Saeran turns his attention away from the table for a moment to look outside, and his breath catches in his throat. Sunlight peeks through, radiant and almost blinding, but the sky looks so blue and so clear—it almost makes him feel like he can just fly free at any given time.

Saeran allows his eyes to fall shut, wanting nothing more than to remember this nice feeling and his surroundings: the warmth, the laughter, the coziness of it all. He burns everything into the back of his eyelids so that every time he closes his eyes, he can lose himself in this dream that he wishes was a memory instead.

Dreams can be painful things because they almost always seem out of reach, but not this one. In this dream, Saeran can see, hear, smell, and feel everything: the beautiful sky above, the lighthearted conversation between lovers, the sweet aroma of breakfast, the sunlight seeping through his skin…

Saeran knows and even comes to terms with the fact that when he opens his eyes in the morning, he will be met with darkness and cold. He will wake up to an empty stomach and angry mother with no father in sight. That is why, for now, Saeran chooses to appreciate this precious time that he has right now because the happiness that he can only find in this dream is what will help keep him going until he no longer needs to turn to figments of imagination for the source of his smile—his ray of love, hope, and light.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find more of my works on [my Tumblr](http://avistella.tumblr.com/)


End file.
